Ponderings from the Porch
I’ve always loved words. For most of my life I’ve used them to make witty quips or toss out sarcastic zingers to friends and family. As a kid, I wanted to grow up and make funny TV commercials and actually ended up with a college degree in Advertising Copywriting. Yep, that’s really a thing.
I went on to work in radio where I became a pro at communicating vital info to our listeners (like where to find me to score FREE Texas Rangers tickets and a Chick-fil-a sandwich!) in a mere 30-second, LIVE call-in from a station remote van.
Years later, I launched CouponCrazyMommy.com (which eventually became ModMomTV.com) where I’d spend hours every day click clacking on a keyboard sharing the hottest deals and “lifestyle” posts.
But it wasn’t until my husband died, when I began to use the written word to tap into my soul.
It was then, in those quiet, middle-of-the-night moments, when the waves of grief were slapping me around that I was able to use words to release all my pent up feelings and emotions.
Below is a collection of some of those words. Most of these thoughts were shared in Facebook posts made visible only to my friends and family. It was a safe place where I journeyed through my grief, and also gave people a real, raw and transparent glimpse into what it feels and looks like to travel along a road you never would’ve chosen, while also maintaining a faith that it was all part of a bigger plan.
I hope you’ll find these posts helpful if you’re on your own grief journey or know someone who is.
~ Natalie
THAT DATE
Here we are. The day before THAT DATE. The date that pierces my heart every time I hear it. The date that shattered our world. The date that closed the door on the life we knew. The date that...
How to Love a Widow
"To love a woman, who has been through true darkness and the depths of pain, is no easy task.” ~said by someone smart on the internet somewhere Losing Wayne was a heart-opening experience. I learned...
10 Immediate & Tangible Ways to Help a Grieving Friend
I am a widow collector. Every few weeks it seems someone will reach out to tell me the husband of one of their friends recently died. They want to know if I can connect with her. I say,...
A 5-Minute, $100 Test Could’ve Saved His Life!
Posted to Facebook November 11, 2019 (3 months after Wayne died) This Tuesday marks three months since we lost Wayne. For those who didn't know, he had a family history of heart disease. His...
What NOT to Say (and what you SHOULD say) to a Grieving Friend
Everyone is well-meaning when they attempt to comfort someone who has experienced a loss. Whether you're at a funeral, dropping off a casserole, or commenting on a Facebook post, finding the right...
Live a Great Story
Want to know how to make a difference in the lives of the people around you? Choose to live like Wayne. I received the following message via Facebook. I hope it encourages you to see the best in...
Take the Selfie
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Is it OK to Be Happy?
My constant battle: simultaneous feelings of both grief and happiness. I must balance the complex emotions of honoring and remembering my late husband, while not letting memories overwhelm me to the...
Crappy Dinners = Strong Friendships
I shared this on Facebook as we approached our first Christmas without Wayne. We’re at the four-month mark today. The boys and I are doing OK…probably because we’re stuffing down our emotions just...
“Keep Breathing…Who Knows What the Tide Could Bring?”
“And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” Isn't that the perfect metaphor for grief?!? I was watching...
The Impossible Odds of an Only Parent
Brody and I went out to dinner on Friday night. We sat down in the two remaining chairs in the foyer of the restaurant and waited for our table. As a slew of people came in after us, I was excited...
If Only They Knew
This morning as we sat in a little corner of Starbucks, most people who were coming and going would think we were just a group of soccer moms hanging out and catching up. Probably no one would’ve...
College Drop-off: Don’t Grieve the Loss; Embrace the Joy of Living
My oldest son’s college move-in date is August 14th. That day will also mark the 4-year anniversary of his dad’s death. Yeah, what are the odds it's the exact, same date??? Ugh. It’ll most...
Edit Your Story Well
God is the author of your story. He determines the course — the good, bad and ugly. But YOU are the editor. And only you can decide how your story is told. Just like a good book editor polishes,...
Grief Trigger: Old Couples
This is Freddie and Betty. Three years ago, shortly after Wayne died, I saw this sweet couple walking hand-in-hand around the track at the CAC. It made me sad. It made me feel so alone. Why didn’t...
This Bag Tells the Story of the Worst Day of My Life
I shared this on Facebook as we approached the 2-year anniversary of losing Wayne. I was organizing the linen closet today and found a bag hidden in the back. I knew exactly what was in it. And I...
Grief Trigger: Changing Seasons
It’s very common for grief to hit hard with the changing of seasons. * That little blade of green grass peeking through a brown, brittle terrain. * Red checkered table cloths and burgers on a grill....
A Widow’s Dilemma and YOUR Emotions
As several of my widow friends have started dating and even remarried, I’ve noticed a really weird reaction I’ll have. When she posts a picture with her new love, I’m often taken aback seeing her...
The “Solid Rock” of Your Marriage
Today would’ve been our 19th wedding anniversary. It’s interesting as I look at my ring. I’ve never been a big jewelry person. When Wayne and I were dating and talking marriage, I actually dreaded...